Of friends and fun

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote an article called ‘the beauty in sadness’ and I talked all about how there is an importance in having a contrast between the happy and sad moments in your life, so that you can fully appreciate the happy times. Well prepare yourselves to witness this contrast in the form of a far more happy blog post, because yesterday I had one of these wonderfully happy moments and I thought I had better share.

Have you ever just looked around a room full of your friends and family and thought to yourself ‘by gum, I have an amazing taste in friends and I can’t believe all of these people are in my life. I’m the luckiest person out’? Because that was me last night.

You see, it was my birthday. Actually that’s a lie. It was a few days prior to my birthday but we were celebrating anyway. For weeks I had been cooped up in the house; not seeing many people; spending my days cleaning and baking and performing general party preparations. It was exhausting and by the end of it, I was sad and lonely and longing for the opportunity to see people again. So when I was suddenly surrounded by so many wonderful people, it made me reflective.

For this reflection to make sense, I should probably explain something. I see myself as a floater. I have a lot of different friends in a lot of different places. I love them all. I drift from group to group and have a great time with everyone without ever being ridiculously close to one or two people. I have never been the sort of person to have a best friend. I just have a million amazing friends who I wouldn’t trade for anything. But this also means that I have a fear. I have a fear that as a floater, there will be a time where I drift away or where I will be left behind because I was the fun drifter who made life interesting but never had a particularly close bond to anyone. Now this is ridiculous because I love everyone so much that I would never allow this to happen but in the human mind, this fear is sometimes inevitable.

But last night, as 40 of my most favourites gathered to celebrate and have fun with me, all together for the first time, I was reminded of something. I was reminded that although I have approximately five different groups of friends and no best friends, they all have one thing in common. They love me and this love is returned. Also, they’re all ridiculously fun and brilliant to be around… but this is merely an additional observation and superfluous to expressing my point.

A couple of my friends said last night “wow, you have a lot of people who love you.” I do. A lot. And I love them all back, equally as much. Sometimes I think I might lose them and sometimes I think I’m not as close to them as I might think. But don’t we all share this worry? It is the simple getting together of friends, watching everyone work together, laugh together and enjoy eachother’s company which reminds us of how brilliant our relationships are and how lucky we are. So thankyou to all of the people who are in my life – you mean more to me than you could imagine. Thankyou for your smiles, for your banter, for your fun and for your personality. I’m lucky and I know it. Although I don’t have a best friend and sometimes I fear becoming lonely because of this, I know it will never happen because neither I, nor my friends will let it.

I hope this can remind you of how important you are to someone and of how important it is to surround yourself with people, whether it be lots of people or just a few.

Stay happy and look after your friends!

-Alice

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The beauty in sadness

You know that feeling of intense loneliness you get sometimes? When you’re just sitting there minding your own business and then something just triggers inside you and you feel empty; as though someone had accidentally left, open, the window to your soul and all the contents just flew away? I get that surprisingly often and it is often then partnered with the urge to hug someone. Someone who isn’t there.

I started out this blog with an opening post talking about how I have too much happiness in me and how I want to share this with other people so others can enjoy life as much as I do. Believe me, that happiness is still there and I still have so much to share. But sometimes it is important that we reflect on things that make this happiness so wonderful. Those moments of emptiness, moments of inexplicable sadness and moments of incomprehensible loneliness that add a touch of brilliance to every smile, to every laugh and to every friend.

Sometimes in these moments, I feel as though I put more effort and more love into people than I will ever get back. I feel as though I focus all my energy on trying to get responses from people who will always be too busy or too distracted to have much to do with me. I feel as though some people make me so much happier than I make them and that some people are worth more to me than I am to them.

But it is in these moments that I remember the others. The people who I don’t have to put so much effort into hassling for a response because they are so much more open with their love and their support. It is at these times that these people seem to be worth so much more. Are so much more amazing.

What’s more, the people who you put all of that effort into, who seem like a dead weight dragging you down… well sometimes you’re that effortless friend to them, who makes them smile in that moment of loneliness. That, in itself, is brilliant.

As I sit here writing this, I feel that void in me. But as I have written, its edges have softened and I am reminded of just how lucky I am, how many friends I have and how much I am loved. I hope that this can be a reminder to you as well.

Life continues to be brilliant, even in the moments of darkness. You just have to learn to see the light and if there isn’t one, be one.

Be happy and always love,

-Alice